Calling and Purpose: The Sacred Romance

The Romantic Idea

The concept of calling and purpose is elusive yet so appealing. Many articles and books talk about the unique calling and purpose we are made and destined for and I had read many similar-themed materials from college days. Somehow the idea brings euphoria to my nerves. My youthful eyes were glittering with hope for the future, envisioning the positive differences and impact I would stride to make in the world. I guess this activist slant has been there since my childhood. It exists within all people in varying degrees.¹

Throughout my life, the drive to find a noble cause or an endeavor worth dying for is like a combination of adventure and romance. There are adrenaline and boundless enthusiasm. The excitement is visceral and genuine.

In all of our hearts lies a longing for a Sacred Romance… this heart yearning sets within us, the longing for transcendence; the desire to be part of something larger than ourselves; the deepest part of our heart longs to be bound together in some heroic purpose with others of like mind and spirit.²

Then my husband and I entered parenthood. Even though we tried to plan for everything, it took me by surprise to realize the amount of work and dedication that parenthood entails. Through a painful process, I had to come to terms with myself and accepted that at least for the foreseeable future my impact sphere would be limited within the four walls of my home. It was a choice, a circumstance, a capacity and a calling matter. My heart was broken but embalmed by the motherly love I have for my daughters.

Still, the spark of fire to make a difference lingers albeit not as strong as before. As I grow in my faith, I desire to seek a calling and purpose centered within God’s word and truth. Through an ‘older and more mature’ lens, I continue to digest different publications about calling and purpose. Some common jargons are: personal fulfillment and satisfaction, purposeful passion, powerful impact. In short, there seems to be a promise that everything in our life will be aligned once we attain our calling and purpose (aka our destiny).

All these splendid and grandiose ideas could be inadvertently pernicious; they potentially escalate us to be the main hero of our life story. The narrative is stimulating and the path is slippery. It could carry us down toward the path of self-idolatry, disillusion us if we are not alert. We ought to reorient our position properly and recognizing that it is God who is the main hero and the main character of every story. He is rightly at the center of my universe and I am as His servant abiding whatever assignment and station (no matter how unglamorous to my taste) in life He has planned for me.

Yet we are not just meaningless coincidences trudging the earth, trying to survive. It is true that our existence has a unique meaning and purpose for our Creator as He designs us that way. But everything will set on its rightful places and not grow out of proportion only if we view our existence and our significance pivoting everything from Him. First and foremost we should refine and purify our motives: the main purpose of everything we do is to reflect His glory and bringing the glory back to Him.

Once we purify our motivation, we are ready to complete the work He gave us to do and be of use for His kingdom’s purpose.

2 Timothy 2:21: Those who cleanse themselves… will be instruments for special purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.

Two Types of Calling

As times passed, I have embraced motherhood as a calling that centers my life in this season of life. I was conflicted for a time reconciling the facts how God mapped out my particular interests, burdens, personality and talents very differently from the mother next door and what to do with them.

Generally, there are two types of calling for every believer:

1. The Common and General Calling

It is the same with everyone and it involves the roles in your life. Once you are married, you are called to be a wife. Once you have children, you are called to be a mother. Once you become a believer, you are called to be a part of His body and disciple others. We are automatically called to the relationships, the status and the occupations we currently have. Every person with the same role has the same common calling and each role carries different given responsibilities. We are accomplishing His work on earth in our common callings.

2. The Unique and Specific Calling

This pertains to our unique circumstances, personalities, passions, gifts, dreams, burdens and capabilities. They indicate our unique and specific calling. It differs for each person. It can be vocational or avocational. It can be in the form of paid working job or something informal and voluntary.

Along with our common and general calling, there is also a unique and specific calling that is distinctive for each of us.

The ideal scenario is to be able to do both our common and unique calling well and optimally.

But what if there is a conflict of time and energy? We have limited time and energy; what if we could not engage in both callings in a meaningful way at the same time?

The wise king Solomon, the author of Ecclesiastes, said there is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens (Eccles. 3:1). So there is an element of life seasons. Parenting is an example; it is a seasonal calling and not a lifetime calling.

I believe that by default the common calling automatically should take precedence over the unique calling because it is naturally built-in. God already places the roles along with the responsibilities in front of us, we don’t have to seek any further.

If the Holy Spirit makes it clear we should pursue our unique calling and purpose above all else, then, in that case, the whole family will pay the cost of that calling. But if the assignment is coming from God, He will enable and He will fill and replace whatever is lacking due to our limitations.

At times we can still do both callings in parallel but either one or both are likely to run sub-optimally. At other times we are required to make a choice and put the other calling on hold for a time being.

We must be cautiously guarded by the Holy Spirit in determining what we need to do at the current season. Our obedience to Him will yield the best outcomes.

Personal Journey Continued…

Both my husband and I had agreed that I should focus my time at home for this season of my life; managing the house and raising the children.

A part of me was put to death and I was hurting. Any romantic notion about purpose and impact was crushed. For a time, I drifted aimlessly through the days carrying out household and motherly duties for survival and life keeping. Purposeless and no temporary objectives to gain, I had a mild depression period for about a year. I resented everyone around me and I even resented God for creating me a female.

Little did I know that this period was very crucial for my character growth and transformation, He was readying me for the next assignment. In order for something new to grow, the old must be put to death. He was growing new seeds of insights and understanding through this humbling and yet a much-needed process to prune me.

Now with the benefit of hindsight, I am deeply grateful to God for the lessons learned in this part of the journey. I understand that I am actually in the midst of my calling, doing what is pleasing to Him. Motherhood is neither a distraction nor an obstacle in my pathway to purpose. It is actually making me fit to minister to other moms. I am thankful that I have been faithful in my post to the best of my ability with help from my fellow sisters and by His power and grace.

I still don’t know what is waiting for me after this parenthood season but I should be steadfast with my current roles and responsibilities and continue to equip myself to be more effective. I pray God would find me ready for the next assignment.

My prayer for you, my dear sisters, is that we will be the faithful ones as He will continue to equip us to do His will for His glory. Amen.

Hebrews 13:20-21: Now may the God of peace,… equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

*A related post is Calling and Purpose: A Frame of Mind.

---

¹Brazelton, Katie. Pathway to Purpose for Women. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2005, p. 24.

²Curtis, Brent and John Eldredge. The Sacred Romance. Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1997, p. 19.